How do you define Self-love?
Maybe you will have your own definition for yourself depends on your culture and experience background. For me, it is all about listening to the inner voice of my body, which whispers to my ear that it is ok to take rest, to be gentle with my body, to nourish and appreciate all what I have , involved physically, emotionally and spritually.
Self-love is even greater than unconditional love...
Before marriage, I have learned to prioritize myself on the relationships, because if I don't even love myself then how can I spread love for others? I understand that when I can fill my heart and body with my own self-love, I am ready to serve the world with the best version of myself.
After marriage and having kids, I seem to have a tendency to prioritize family interest rather than for myself, especially my kid 's interest. I have even thought, well, I have a great hubby and sweet boy already, why should I take care for my appearance and my interest?...
One day, I felt empty, drained, exhausted and unfulfilled. Because I have forgotten to love myself for quite a long time...
Does it matter to love yourself more as a Mom?
Yes it does matter. How much do you love yourself determines the quality of the overall experience of your life, it affects every single area of your life. It is also example to people around you like your husband and your kids?
When you love and appreciate your body, live in your own truth , respect yourself with daily self-care, you are showing your family how to love themselves.
Or you can even learn self-love from your baby: they don't critisise their body, they eat and sleep whenever their body need. Kids are also pure self-lover, when they always speak from the truth, from what they are thinking and care for their interest. We need to read these kind of signals from our kid to serve their demand, but we have forgotten to read our own signal, we are neglecting ourself since we have been growing up on this modern society.
Treating yourself well by loving your physical body and your own emotional well-being, for example like getting enough sleep, doing excercise, eating well and healthy
How to love yourself more?
What would you do during your bad , lonely and sad days? What do you normally do when you can't achive your target or when you don't finish your things-to-do list task? Do you blame yourself? Do you feel guilty? Do you feel that you are not enough? You don't deserve sucess? You don't deserve a better life?
YOU DESERVE IT, MOMS
It’s loving yourself even on your bad days. And giving yourself grace when you look in the mirror and don’t recognize the body staring back at you during your fourth trimester.
It’s forgiving yourself when you get irritated with your baby because they aren’t sleeping. It’s showing compassion and empathy to yourself at all times.
It is understanding that even if you aren’t perfect and have things you would like to work on that you deserve nothing but the best from yourself and everyone around you.
It is cultivating loving & empowering thoughts throughout your day. It’s being your best friend, your personal cheerleader and loving yourself like you are the most important person in your life.
Because my dear, you ARE the most important person in your life.
So How Can You Cultivate More Self-Love?
Self-Love Tip 1 | Loving saying with yourself in mirror
This is probably the most important thing you can do on your journey to loving yourself. I honestly cannot stress this enough. Most of our struggles and negativity all come down to the things we tell ourselves on a daily basis.
Just think, we have 50 000 – 70 000 thoughts per day, which comes up to a whopping 35-48 per minute.
Can you imagine the impact 35 negative thoughts per minute could have on your day, your self-esteem, your confidence, and your self-love?
We only need 1-2 self-love affirmation to speak to yourself in the mirror EVERYDAY to nurture your mind, because our subconcious mind will repeat the pattern, like:
I deserve to love myself wholely and completely
I am loveable
I am pretty
I am embracing and learning from my mistakes
I am honest with myself
I am authentic
Self-Love Tip 2 | Be vulnerable
As women, and especially as mother’s we tend to be so hard on ourselves. The reality is, everyone needs a little bit more grace and a little bit more forgiveness in their lives.
We often find ourselves taking care and helping others, but we, may need to feel special or loved too.
Recognizing our vulnerabilities - our feelings of not being good enough, along with our disappointment, sadness and fears- and making a concious choice to '' go there'' . It can sometimes feel overwhelming and scrary but it's necessary to get over obstacles to inner peace and self-acceptance.
Be honest with your mind and feeling, don't suppress your emotions and thoughts just to please others or meet external standards
Self-Love Tip 3 | Be Aligned
We tend to feel our best when our actions are aligned with our thoughts. Meaning, if you have been wanting to eat healthier, but continue to make choices that don’t reflect that, then you will most likely feel bad about yourself, have negative self-talk, and feel like you are “failing”.
Even though you aren’t, it is completely natural for you to feel that way. With that being said, if every day you chose your actions carefully based on the way you view yourself and would like to be; you will automatically feel better about yourself.
Because you will be living in alignment with who you are and the woman you would like to be.
Self-Love Tip 4 | Put yourself first and protect your space
Putting yourself first is entirely counterintuitive to your personality, nature and female conditioning, allow yourself time to restore and engage in activities that brought you peace and joy
Surround yourself with people and things that breathe life into you. Those that make you feel energized and excited about yourself and your life. There is enough negativity in the world that you don’t need to surround yourself with any more of it.
Learn to say no to anything and everything that drains you and makes you feel less than the amazing human being that you are.
Self-Love Tip 5 | Knowing you are enough
You have to give up all your old beliefs about yourself that make you feel like you are anything less than perfect.
You need to know AND believe that you are enough even on your bad days, with your imperfections and flaws.
Just because you may not feel like it right now while reading this, it doesn’t mean that you can’t learn or unlearn anything that is preventing you from feeling worthy just as you are.
Now, I know these may not seem like your typical self-love tips. Because to me loving yourself means recognizing any and all situations that don’t come from a place of profound love and respect for yourself.
Ultimately, self-love is anything that elevates and honors you, the amazing woman that you are. And the best part about it is that you get to decide the best way to love yourself.
Even five minutes is better than nothing.